BANGGOOD.com's JiZZ RGB Waterproof HANDFEEL keyboard-$23.99

[Docjon]

AAAWWWWWWW YISSSS, mothafuckin' backlit waterproof JiZZ keyboard, brought to you by the good folks at BANGGOOD.com. C'mon bitches, just LOOK at the JiZZ on the space-bar! Sweet Christ, I don't know what in the eva-lovin' FUCK they mean by "HANDFEEL", but GODDAMN, I WANNA FIND OUT! I bet they're talkin' 'bout how mothafuckin' good your HAND FEELS when you put your hands on their JiZZ. Of COURSE it's waterproof! They make non-waterproof models, but they're famous for their high-quality waterproof models. When you buy a keyboard with JiZZ on it, you're gonna want the waterproof model! So cum'on, beat a path to their door and treat yourself to JiZZ!



Semen.

[Prophet]

is it dishwasher safe?

[Docjon]

is it dishwasher safe?

Fuckin'-A it is! Feel free to hose the bastard down if that excites you! And don't worry about the logo washing off - that's some quality shit. It's molded right into the plastic! Rest assured, no matter how much or how many times you wash it, JiZZ will always be on your keyboard.

[Prophet]

I can be a bit rough some times. How tough is Jizz?

[Docjon]

I can be a bit rough some times. How tough is Jizz?

Are you fuckin' SHITTIN' ME? This sweet piece of keyboard ass is as tough as they come. Whack it, smack it, beat it off the wall! Yank it, crank it, take it out at the mall! Abuse it all you want, you'll never be without JiZZ in your hands!

[Paladin]

What if my JiZZ malfunctions? I mean what if I have problems JiZZing?

[Prophet]

Can I share my Jizz with friends?

[Paladin]

Can I JiZZ with one hand?

[Docjon]

Very occasionally, when your JiZZ is new, it will be somewhat sticky. Get some silicone lube and splash that shit around. Remember, it's waterproof, so don't worry about getting it everywhere. Rub it in real good. That's usually all you need to loose the JiZZ. If you still have problems with your JiZZ, just call their phone support. They're the best in the business. They work long and hard, and will talk to you for hours if necessary. They won't quit until there is a happy ending.

Run your hands over it, try it one-handed, get some friends together. There are even business opportunities. Many folks get so excited over their JiZZ, that they just want to share it with their friends and the world. In many quiet suburbs after dark, in places where you'd least expect it, housewives are gathering with their neighbors and having BANGGOOD parties, where everyone is welcome to try their products. Friends are getting together, having wine and hors-d'oeuvre, and sharing their JiZZ with each other's wives and girlfriends. Everyone gets the chance to try the JiZZ with no commitment.

Look fuckers, why are you sitting there and asking ME all these questions about JiZZ? As Shia says, JUST! DO! IT! Get your hands on that JiZZ, wash it off, beat on it, just work that bastard! Just spend some quality time with your JiZZ. You won't regret it.

[Paladin]

Can I JiZZ in the dark?

[Docjon]

Can I JiZZ in the dark?

Fuck you, you make up some of this dumb shit for awhile! I need a break!

[Paladin]

Can I JiZZ in the dark?

Fuck you, you make up some of this dumb shit for awhile! I need a break!

Well YOU started it i i

BTW your answers were well thought out and funny.

This should have been a reddit thread.

[Docjon]

Can I JiZZ in the dark?

Fuck you, you make up some of this dumb shit for awhile! I need a break!

Well YOU started it i i

BTW your answers were well thought out and funny.

This should have been a reddit thread.

Thanks. I could write more. . .if I were your little monkey.

   

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